Parenting

A Lying Child is a Growing Child

Lying among children can be very distressing to parents. They get irritated over such a habit. What they fail to realize, that it is very normal for children to lie in their growing phase. Children lie to escape the wrath of their parents. They lie when they prefer being secretive. It is an escape path for them. Lying is an easy way out to avoid punishment. Parents need to understand a child’s compulsion to lie and not hold it against him or her.

Why Do Children Lie?

  • Children like to tell tales. They like to make up stories. They fantasize when they are young. They cannot differentiate between reality and fantasy
  • Children lie to escape the scolding of their parents. They do not like being punished. They do not admit their wrong-doings
  • Lies are told by children in case they want something or do not want something
  • Children resort to lies to impress upon another person
  • To boost self-esteem, children lie. They like to be praised. They often boast about having done something or said something to someone. They like to feel superior
  • Children lie to get something, which they desire most.
  • They also lie to protect a friend or family member. They are very loyal to people with whom they are very close·
  • The habit of lying is picked up from parents. They imitate their parents and do whatever they do. If parents lie, then they also do the same thing

How Do We Know a Child is Lying?

  • Children are anxious when they are lying. When they are telling truth, their facial expressions are very relaxed
  • One should try to see if there are any inconsistencies in statements· Children are spontaneous when they are telling the truth

How Can Parents Handle a Lying Child?

  • One needs to explain the importance of telling the truth. An open and warm relationship should be fostered between the child and the parent
  • Discipline the child when he or she lies. One can have separate punishments for lying
  • Be consistent in your treatment towards a lying child. The same set of rules should apply· Parents should trap a child in telling them whether he lied or not. Do not demand for confessions. Be sure that they have actually committed a mistake before punishing them
  • Parents should try to observe the pattern of lying in their child. Solutions to change this pattern should be found. If a child is lying to boost up his or her self-esteem, then efforts should be made to enhance his or her self image otherwise
  • One should praise truthfulness. If being truthful is being appreciated, then the child will repeat that behavior again
  • Professional help should be sought for consistent lying

A child lies to save his or her neck. Parents should not resort to physical violence against such children. They should try to correct the behavior. Parents should understand the tendency to lie in a child. One should not get worked up about it, but take it as something natural.

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