Bullying

Dominance vs Bullying

There is a very thin line between dominance and bullying. Dominance for the sake of being dominant is not a natural behaviour. And most people are not naturally assertive. Most people tend to be passive by nature and are comfortable being led and instructed. Some egotistic individuals are comfortable being coaxed to do things and would be highly uncomfortable if someone instructs or advises them.

Dominant personalities cause worries to non-assertive people because they feel the pressure of satisfying the dominant people. We confuse dominance with leadership. But good leadership is inclusive and progressive. It involves one and all. Dominance yields short-term rewards and results, mostly for the benefit of the dominant, and it fails completely to make effective use of team-members’ abilities and potential.

Excessively dominant people turn out to be bullies. Bullies work on impulse so they can be used by cunning people to carry out antisocial activities because the bully enjoys showmanship. Bullies resist domination and impose their will on others. They dominate because they are too insecure to allow other people to have responsibility and influence, and this behaviour is generally conditioned from childhood for reasons more than one.

Bullying behaviour is effectively reinforced by the passivity of ‘non-assertive’ people. The bully gets his or her own way because the others avoid getting into conflict with him/her. The bullying dominant behaviour persists because it is rewarded.

From a very young age dominant, bullying people become conditioned to bullying behaviour, because it worked with them. Experiences play an important part in creating bullies. Then bullying becomes an unconscious habit. So bullies are victims as well as aggressors.

Non-assertive people are conditioned to obey and accept things to earn favor for long term gains in life. They wait to get things. Non-assertiveness does not lead to friction and life is easier, peaceful and comfortable. On the other hand bullies are assertive to the extent of being aggressive.

Guide your kid in the following ways

Practice

Tell your kid to act firmly if confronted by a bully. S/he should avoid a bully as much as possible.

Have faith in your abilities

Instil faith in your kids that s/he is capable of doing the best. Assure them that they can do the best. It is best to preoccupy oneself with positive thoughts. 

Finaly, aggressors are generally healthy and independent so they do not understand creepiness or the meaning of remaining passive under oppressive circumstances and thus get into agrression frequently. The passive survive by selling emotions while the bullies survive through agrression. A protective child is comfortable being loved, pampered and spoiled in course of time. A neglected child has a greater chance of being spoiled.

There is a need for balance in experiences. The unprotected world outside is a reality and to strengthen one’s home one has to face the outside world also. Train your kid to be brave and cool. At the end of the day you are the model.