http://parenting.ygoy.com Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:48:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://parenting.ygoy.com/how-to-parent-adopted-children/comment-page-1/#comment-55 Maggie Macaulay Sat, 04 Aug 2007 11:32:42 +0000 http://parenting.ygoy.com/how-to-parent-adopted-children/#comment-55 This post is riddled with antiquated falsehoods about adoption. The language itself -- such as "total outsider," "not the real of the parents," "have to regard the child as their own," and "act in a manner as if the child is her own," -- perpetuates adoption stigma. Parents who adopt don't "act like" the child is their own. The child IS their own. Parenting is not an act, whether the family was created through biology or adoption. Adoption is also about the entire family, not the "adopted child." Adoption is not "an act of great altruism." It is family building. This post is riddled with antiquated falsehoods about adoption. The language itself — such as “total outsider,” “not the real of the parents,” “have to regard the child as their own,” and “act in a manner as if the child is her own,” — perpetuates adoption stigma. Parents who adopt don’t “act like” the child is their own. The child IS their own. Parenting is not an act, whether the family was created through biology or adoption. Adoption is also about the entire family, not the “adopted child.” Adoption is not “an act of great altruism.” It is family building.

]]> http://parenting.ygoy.com/how-to-parent-adopted-children/comment-page-1/#comment-23 sreejata guha Sat, 14 Jul 2007 12:22:38 +0000 http://parenting.ygoy.com/how-to-parent-adopted-children/#comment-23 The writer of this piece states 'Adopted parenting is all about love and care and looking after a child who is a total outsider.' I wonder what this total outsider concept is, as opposed to an insider (meaning the biological product of an union between your own egg and your partner's sperm?). How much of an advantage does the biological parent actually have in terms of access to the biological child's mind, nature or congenital tendencies, as opposed to the adoptive parent vis-a-vis their adopted child? The only thing we know for sure with a biological child is a medical history of the biological parents. Otherwise -- aren't we all groping in the dark and trying to come up with the best way to shape the mind and bodies entrusted in our care by freak strokes of fate? The writer of this piece states ‘Adopted parenting is all about love and care and looking after a child who is a total outsider.’ I wonder what this total outsider concept is, as opposed to an insider (meaning the biological product of an union between your own egg and your partner’s sperm?). How much of an advantage does the biological parent actually have in terms of access to the biological child’s mind, nature or congenital tendencies, as opposed to the adoptive parent vis-a-vis their adopted child? The only thing we know for sure with a biological child is a medical history of the biological parents. Otherwise — aren’t we all groping in the dark and trying to come up with the best way to shape the mind and bodies entrusted in our care by freak strokes of fate?

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