Posted on December 17, 2007 in Pre-Teens
Children start lying from a very young age and you need to discourage those habits ever since the day you catch them doing so. Don’t take your child’s story telling habits lightly.
You can ignore this habit of your child till s/he is 3 but once the kid is above three he need to be taught certain habits which will help the child understand gradually the difference between the right and wrong. At the early stage the right and wrong is a matter of habit and these habits get etched into the child’s mind as the child reaches the age of 9-10.
By the age of nine children form certain values. These values are inculcated in them by their parents or responsible adults and the earlier they are trained into it better the results. If you found your adolescent stealing and lying you need to work harder to bring the child back to normal fold. This is a difficult task but not impossible.
Steps to stop your young one from lying:
- Do not put pressure on your kids to become a topper or whatever. Instead encourage them to do well.
- Place importance in doing things in a better and effective manner rather than placing emphasis on outcomes. If you lay emphasis on outcomes your child is likely to take shortcuts to success. If he fails to success he will resort to lying
- If you caught him lying sit with the child and tell him/her that both of you know that s/he is lying and that there is nothing wrong in failures and that failures are steps to success. Nobody fulfilled his/her dreams in one day. It is matter of hard work, perseverance, faith, courage and the will to succeed that leads one to success
- Don’t criticize your children . Tell your children that you are disappointed with their behavior. Convey to your children as a parent that their success or failure has got nothing to do with your love for them
What to do when s/he is stealing?
- Tell your children about the grave consequences of stealing
- If your child has stolen something warn your children of the consequences and escort your child to the place from where s/he has stolen the object
- Tell your child that there is no dignity in stealing and that s/he should work hard to achieve things in life. Tell them also that you did not have even few things of all the things which you have presented to your children
- If you think that you can afford what your child wants and that it is something your child need to have tell him/her that you would gift them only if they behaved properly. Sometimes rewards encourage children to do good things
- Don’t make the mistake of fulfilling all the wished of your children as it would be difficult to accept a NO from you in future
- Hide your children’s favorite toy or dress or cap and wait till your children tell you that how they feel on missing it. Tell them then that this is how the other person felt on losing his/her toy and hand over the object that you kept hidden so long. Your child would feel guilty and will ask you to accompany you while returning the object. If your child is unwilling to return the object, ask him/her to be brave in returning it so and that by doing so s/he would not repeat the activity as it would hurt the ego of the child to feel guilty once again.
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October 7th, 2008 at 6:14 am
iam only 12 and i steal i feel very bad about it but i cant stop i need help. could you give me some steps to stopping stealing?
June 5th, 2009 at 11:18 am
what ever u need so badly and u have no means of getting that thing pray to God about it and He will surely make available what ur heart is craving for. Also dont allow the devil to program you so that u wont be on auto pilot. Steal brings alot of disgrace and shame, i hope u dont want to disgraced in public? so stop stealing.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Im 14 years old and I have a very bad addiction of stealing and lying and I need help but I don’t know where to get help. How do you think you can give me advice abut these two main problems I have to stop before I get in trouble with the law?
June 25th, 2009 at 5:51 am
My 9 year old keep lying. It is getting worse she is now lying at school, about her father. We are a broken family so this is left to me what can i do to help her . How do i stop this and what punishment do you recommend.
July 4th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Dear Natalie!
In general children and adults lie to protect them selfs. In your situation, I think your doughter is lying because she feels unprotected because she does not have her father around, and she might feel worried that she might loose you. Your doughter lies to become perfect in front of you. I do not think that you should use any punishment to her. you should show as much as you can all your support and love. show to her that the most important reason to live in your life is your doughter and nobody else.Show her that you are her best friend and that you two can rock together.
I really hope that my advice will help you.
Sincerely
Esmeralda
July 9th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
My daughter has a friend who is stealing from her and I don’t know how to deal with the situation. We caught her once and we were shocked. I decided to give her a second chance. I did not go to her parents this time because I thought she would not do it again because of getting caught. This little girl is an only child and has absolutely no reason to steal, except for maybe an emotional void. Both parents work long hours and it seems as if they are not committed to spending the time they should with their daughter. They drop her off with many different families to be looked after everyday. There seems to be alot of denial with the parents which is why I haven’t approached them yet, but I feel I have to. I’m just not sure how. Please help!!!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:47 am
I am Kaiya I am 8 I keep stealing and lying and I need help. I get in trouble and hate getting in trouble HELP ME PLEASE!